Lights will guide you home...

At Piazza San Marco, Venezia

I have always envied those who can express themselves explicitly. You know, the ability to yell at someone when you are mad, to state the facts as to what is making you upset and such. They know deep down that the counter-party will put up with their anger, regardless of it being rational or not, understand their point and provide them with the comfort and kind words they were looking for.

It is understandable to put your own concerns and wants before everyone else's. This is something that I definitely need to work on. Just to prevent myself from getting stomped on, again. Simply catering to other's needs and neglecting what your mind tells you is a big fat no-no. For any parents out there who might be reading this, don't tell your children they're not good enough. They might not be up to par, but that's who they are! Don't get me wrong, I love mine in my own awkward way (totally not conventional...).

There are so many times where I've got beaten down and tossed my perspective into the garbage can as I did not want to upset the other person. In various different types of relationships too. Must learn to speak up for myself. Must learn to speak up for myself. Must learn to speak up for myself.

Your weaknesses and flaws are what make you who you are though.

So, for the initiators and achievers, not having a say does not mean no say at all. We simply have a different channel for expressing emotions. For example, sarcasm. You can hide behind it and attack your enemy simultaneously. Best weapon ever.

Not really sure what my point here is anymore. Like I said, I am not a man of words. So many thoughts racing through my head but none leaving anything concrete for me to grasp. Hence all the gibberish here. And it's like, everything will explode some day and you're left alone to pick the pieces up yourself.

However, I'm a strong believer that, with everything held constant, time is the best healer. Works for all types of pain, be it hurt, regret, mourn, etc. But, in my world, serenity is also key; the process of recovering in a virus-free environment. A patient would not heal unless the tumor is completely removed. 

And this is where I wish you could just go away and leave me alone. You're blocking my light.